Silent Killer: Emotional Abuse

What is Emotional Abuse?

- any behavior that is designed to control and subjugate another human being through the use of fear, humiliation, intimidation, guilt, and manipulation that wears away at the victim's self-confidence, sense of self-worth, trust in their own perceptions, and self-concept.
- anything from verbal abuse and constant criticism to more subtle tactics, such as repeated disapproval or even the refusal to ever be pleased.
 With constant berating and belittling, by intimidation, or under the guise of "guidance," "teaching", or "advice," that results in the person clinging to the abuser because they do not want to be alone.

For more information: http://eqi.org/eabuse1.htm#What%20is%20Emotional%20Abuse?

Many women today are dealing with emotional abuse. Surprised? I am too. Just think you can go to work or school everyday. You would enjoy lunch with a co-worker or school mate, maybe even do some small talk here and there. Then one day you find out this strong, independent, outgoing, and caring woman is being abused by her mate. Well, you may be going through this right now and not even know it. 

A girl in one of my classes got up and spoke about her abuse. She gave her testimony of being in this abusive relationship. It just shocked me. I had been sitting by her every class and I didn't know. Now she is not in this relationship now but she was giving her speech in class. Though I did not know her before, I was so proud of her for USING HER VOICE! No longer was she keeping silent about her experience. She spoke. He could not stop her from speaking up anymore. She smiled. The smile he tried to take away from her. She got it back. She laughs and tells jokes. He did not have her joy. His abuse was no longer taking her life. She has reclaimed her voice. Because of her voice another girl in my class heard. She spoke about her current abuse. She gave her the courage to speak up. Many people deny and pretend but it is time to stop and stand.

 Now I know many of us would say this would never happen to me but it could be happening to you right now!  Let me encourage you to speak up about your situation. We care about you. You care about yourself, right?  Then you should not stand for your abuse anymore. Arrive..You are BOLD, BEAUTIFUL, TRUE, and NATURALLY YOU! You are BIGGER than you appear. You are STRONGER than you seem. For example you have been dealing with a abuse for so long and your still kicking!

The task ahead of you, is never as great as the power behind you.

Be strong in the Lord, and in the power of His might.

- Ephesians 6:10 

If there is anyone dealing with emotional abuse. Speak. Use your voice. Your God given Voice! I am here and I am sure there are many people around you who do care.

I know it will be difficult but you need your freedom back! You will no longer be imprisoned by someone else.

Use your voice. Speak UP!

Be Bold, Be Beautiful, Be True, Be Naturally YOU!

I am amazed to see how many women today have forgotten their worth and value. They have lost their true beauty. I cannot blame them alone because society plays a great part in a woman’s mindset. It is time for women to reclaim their confidence, value, and self-worth. It is time for us to break the mold and accept ourselves just the way God created us to be.  
I know it sounds simple but it is not as easy as you think. I speak from experience; I had to grow into learning and accepting everything about me.
Learning to be who you are and stay happy while doing it is a struggle for many women. I know some of you may already have it together. THAT IS GREAT! I am happy you have already figured this out, please read on to find out how to encourage others.
I am here to encourage you to accept yourself and realize the value in who you are. Life is not about meeting someone else standard or making everyone else happy. It is about doing things for yourself and no longer being bound by others' expectations but God's.
Speaking for myself, I would like to say that, I had to learn to be independent and self-sufficient. I learned to see the value in me. My compassion for people, my love for God & ministry, as well as the talents and gifts that I have been blessed with are all treasures in my life.
SO LADIES...

Be BOLD!

- Fearless and adventurous: willing and eager to face danger or adventure with a sense of confidence and fearlessness

- Requiring or showing daring: requiring or showing fearlessness, daring, and often originality

Encarta World English Dictionary

You may ask, “How can I be BOLD?”

First, be confident. Be sure of whom you are, your beliefs, morals and ethics.  Do not allow people to dictate your value. Stand up for yourself!  I have seen so many women today who allow men, life, family, and other various situations to lower their sense of worth. Jesus already bought you for a price, which was his life; this means your worth is more than anything on earth is.

No longer should you settle for second best. Be willing to wait for the BEST because you are the best you that you can be in Him! No longer should you lower your standards to accept below average!

Many of us can easily say that there are areas of our lives in which we lack that self-confidence.  I know I have had points in my life where I felt I could not or should not but I overcame those thoughts with God. Some of us developed low self-worth because of how we taught, people telling you that you cannot do anything or you will never be anyone special.  These types of thoughts are what cause low self-esteem and help develop the mindset that you should settle for less.

Be Beautiful!

- pleasing and impressive qualities of something: the combination of qualities that make something pleasing and impressive to look at, listen to, touch, smell, or taste

- Pleasing personal appearance: personal physical attractiveness,

- Beautiful woman: a beautiful woman or girl

True Beauty is not when you put on makeup. Makeup enhances our physical attributes but it is not what makes us beautiful. Being confident, accepting you, and embracing who you are and living a life that honors God is beautiful.

Your character traits, ambition, and how your carry yourself make up your true beauty. Notice I did not say any physical attributes, though they make up your outer appearance that is just the icing on the cake!

Be beautiful, be yourself! Embrace your curves, your smile, full/small lips, hips, slim build, cheeks, dimples and anything else.

Real Beauty is not what you see in magazines.

If you are putting all your hopes into your outer appearance then I am sorry to burst your bubble, but those attributes will not last forever. As you get older your body changes, so my hope is that you are not placing all of your value into your physical looks.

Real Beauty is your love for others, compassion, passion for life, your grace, mercy, your smile, your laugh, and the list can go on.

One day my friends were describing me. I was pleasantly surprised because the things they mentioned were my characteristics, not my physical attributes. They spoke of my thoughtfulness, generosity, my love for ministry and boldness in who I am. They pointed out things of value, things that someone can only know if they took the time to truly get to know me. They spoke of me with high regard and the utmost respect. I love the things they said, it really touched my heart to know they can see the REAL me, the true me.

Take the time to ask friends and family about you. You may surprised by what they say.

Where do you place your value? What makes you beautiful? Make a list!

BE True,

- Genuine: genuine, not pretended, insincere, or artificial

Be real with yourself and everyone around you! Be true to YOU!

Let us stop trying to meet everyone else's idea of who we should be and how we should behave.

No more faking, pretending, and living as if you are happy. Just be genuine!

Being the best you can be in God is the truest thing you can do. 

As long as you are not degrading yourself, family, and values then just do it.

Why can't the job promotion be yours?

Why can't you go back to school?

Why can't you start your own business?

Why can't you cut your hair?

Why can't you become President?

Why can't you become a great writer, singer, filmmaker, artist etc?

There is no limit to your abilities in Christ Jesus. We know with Him all things are possible. Can GOD? GOD CAN!

Be original, be honest, be authentic, be impressive, be strong, and be yourself!

BE NATURALLY YOU! 

Normal

Regular

Ordinary

Just be yourself! Being normal, as expected, ordinary, regular and doing the things you would likely do. Is that really hard? Sometimes it can be. We get worried about fitting in, or being part of the in-crowd but sometimes it is ok to stand alone. It is fine to be different that is what will complete your beauty and make it natural. I have always been different. I have never felt like “part of the crowd.” I have always felt like I am supposed to be different. The Bible recognizes this, and calls us “His peculiar people”. Also, the Bible does mention the Proverbs 31 woman is rare.  So, if you not a part of what is popular, that’s ok, being the best you can be in God is far more satisfying than pretending to be something you’re not.

Ladies, it is time to rise up to the place that God has created for you. Now is the time to reclaim your power, confidence, self-esteem, value, and self-worth! I could go on and on all day about this but I thought I would do a short overview and then get more detailed in each area as God directs me in writing these pieces.

Remember…

BE BOLD,

BE BEAUTIFUL,

BE TRUE,

 BE NATURALLY YOU!

God's Character Woman
" Developing Women of Substance and Character"